How I First Connected with God

For those of you in your twenties who are lost, trying to make it in the world, and have absolutely no idea how you're supposed to do it, I know exactly how you feel. I was recently reminded of this when my wife's twenty-something cousin was talking about his new job--where he has to walk around outside, in a suit, from company to company, unannounced, and try to sell them something--and among his story he nonchalantly said, "If I don't kill myself first." I don't think anyone else really heard it or made note of it, but I did, because I had the same experience and feelings almost twenty years ago.

I graduated just-shy-of honors from SUNY Stony Brook with a Liberal Arts degree, a degree specifically designed for those who don't know what they want to be when they grow up. Having to work and not having the slightest direction, I tried everything: waitering, bartending, working with emotionally disturbed teens, selling auto insurance, landscaping, some law school, and--what was almost the last straw for me--cold-calling businesses in a suit trying to get them to change long distance carriers. I was around 27 years old and remembered hating my life, feeling like a depressed loser, and wondering if I could just sharply turn my car off the expressway, into the woods, and end it all. 

Feeling like nobody could help me and concerned that I would even consider killing myself, in my desperation, I asked God for help. I hadn't prayed to Him since leaving for college and leaving Him behind. (I was raised Catholic, went to church every Sunday, prayed every night, but when I went to college, I decided to make my own choices, and God wasn't one of them.) And because I didn't really talk to Him anymore, even after praying to Him once for help with my loser life, I had quickly forgotten about Him again or that I had even asked for help.

Three months later, through a temp job that led to a full-time job, I found myself on a career path working at Hofstra University, where I was very happily employed for the next five and a half years. Also during that time, I saved a ton of money, earned my masters in counseling for free because I worked for the university, and met my wife. Life was great! And around 6 months after leaving Hofstra, I found myself feeling a little lost again, wondering what I was going to do with my life, and it was in that very familiar state that I suddenly remembered:  My whole life had changed after I had turned to God and asked him for help. I decided one thing then that has made my life since infinitely easier, more fulfilling, and magical; I decided I would do whatever God wanted, and let Him steer my life. Every day since, I affirm what started the amazing life I now live: "Whatever you want God, I'll do." (Or, more familiarly, “Thy will be done.”)